people in high places are in on the killtaker

i recently watched a very enlightening video that discusses the differences between love and hate. I’ve studied the video many times, and have begin to take the topic down a different path.

first of all, who says that love is good and hate is bad? whoever it was is probably a liar. if you disagree with me then I love you (which is worse than hating you).

let me explain: when we love ourselves or others it leads to a feeling of inequality. we value and esteem an object above others to the point that we convince ourselves that that object is worth defending (unto death?). when we hate (the true meaning of hate) we become indifferent towards this “thing”. If we really really hate the thing, we won’t want anything to do with it, and it will blend into obscurity. You might be operating under a wrong perception of hate right now, so you might be disagreeing with me. I’m not talking about the spiteful hate, where you would like to love something but because it rejects you, you end up hating it. I’m talking about hate hate. if i were talking about the rejected love, it would argue my case all the better. the spiteful hate is caused by love, so obviously love is to blame.

ever since i came to this this realization, that video is now a tragedy. the evil love wins, and hate loses. It’s too bad that I don’t hate that video or I’d be fine, but i don’t. i love it.

i hate it when the first boy i ever said i love you to kills himself. i also hate that some asshole tries to tell me its not a big deal because our relationship was so long ago. effer.

i hate crying in front of people, especially when those people are my co-workers.

is this topic too intense for this blog? i agree. here are some other things i hate recently:

1. you find old journals and realize how dorky/cheesy you were/are.

2. you look at pictures that you haven't looked at in years and realize you weren't as cute as you thought you were.

• for example this jumper i had (and wore ALL the time) made entirely of denim (with a denim jacket i wore over it) it looked like this:
• 

3. i hate how bad i am at keeping in touch with people i love.

4. i hate the pervy old man with the dresser full of gay porn that melissa dog-sat for (this doesn't really have to do with memory lane, but i still hate him and his creepy house).

5. when an ex that you do want to forget exists won't let you. then you make it worse (or better?) by dating his younger brother.

6. i kind of actually like 1, 2, and 5.

7. i hate it when i realize i actually like half the things i just hated on (including the denim jumper)