Thursday, October 26, 2006
In general, I'm not a dentist hater,
but I hate that after getting my teeth cleaned today, I had to wait in the awkwardly-shaped dentist chair in a not-quite-laying-down, not-quite-sitting position for twenty minutes because even though the girl who cleans my teeth spent ten thousand dollars to go to school and learn all sorts of pointless bull shit that has nothing to do with cleaning teeth, she isn't qualified to look at the screen that shows exactly where my cavities are and write down on a piece of paper that they need to be filled. We have to wait (together) for the dentist to finish up in the cubicle next to us, and she has to talk down to me, as if she isn't the same fucking age as me, and as if I don't have as much education as her. Her teeth are unnaturally white, and normally I hate her for that, but today I was too busy hating her for her Snoopy scrubs.
I hate the way my dentist always pats my arm when he comes in. How he asks me if I'm dating someone when he can't even remember my age, or what I'm studying in school, or any of the other things he asks me about every time (and those things aren't subject to change as much as which dude I hate the least this week), so why don't you worry a little less about my social life, and just tell Snoopy Scrubs Girl which teeth need to be filled so I can go home?
I hate that I have a crush on one of the dentists who works in the office. He's clean cut, with sandy blonde hair and muscles and a nice jaw line and a wife. He's basically the exact opposite of anyone I like in real (not dental) life, so I don't really get it. But every time the receptionists asks if next time I want to see Dr. Jones (the hunk) or Dr. Christianson (the patter/detail-forgetter), I blush and giggle nervously, and say it doesn't matter.
But mostly I hate that every time I go to the dentist, he tells me to floss more regularly. I floss every day, asshole.
I hate the way my dentist always pats my arm when he comes in. How he asks me if I'm dating someone when he can't even remember my age, or what I'm studying in school, or any of the other things he asks me about every time (and those things aren't subject to change as much as which dude I hate the least this week), so why don't you worry a little less about my social life, and just tell Snoopy Scrubs Girl which teeth need to be filled so I can go home?
I hate that I have a crush on one of the dentists who works in the office. He's clean cut, with sandy blonde hair and muscles and a nice jaw line and a wife. He's basically the exact opposite of anyone I like in real (not dental) life, so I don't really get it. But every time the receptionists asks if next time I want to see Dr. Jones (the hunk) or Dr. Christianson (the patter/detail-forgetter), I blush and giggle nervously, and say it doesn't matter.
But mostly I hate that every time I go to the dentist, he tells me to floss more regularly. I floss every day, asshole.
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i went to the dentist a few months ago for the first time in 5ish years. i thought hey, this is a really nice, high-tech office. then i remembered it had been 5 years so probably all offices are that high-tech these days. then he gave me a filling without novocain. so, yeah, i hate them too.
There was this one time I was getting a root canal, and the dentist was drilling into a root- I assume making a canal of some sort. He suddenly stopped and said, "Oh my. I've never had that happen before. I wonder what I do now." Somehow the tip of the drill bit had broken off and was stuck deep down in the root. He wasn't able to get it out. At least that is what he said. Like most dentists, he's probably just a big liar. So now I will forever have the tip of a drill bit in the depths of my mouth. Dumb dentist.
I had to go to a bad dentist for a while. They said I had eight cavaties, and I started crying. Not because I didn't want them filled, but because I was ashamed to have eight cavaties. I got all of them taken care of, and when we started to go to a new dentist, he said, "Who did this to your teeth? They filled cavaties that weren't even there."
I still like the dentist, because I like having my teeth professionally cleaned. I wish I could do that every month. And I like that they let me get braces when I didn't really need them, but becausee I didn't like the way a couple of my teeth stuck out. And I like that they gave me a few days' supply of the best medicine ever when they took my wisdom teeth out. And the smell of office is nice, too.
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I still like the dentist, because I like having my teeth professionally cleaned. I wish I could do that every month. And I like that they let me get braces when I didn't really need them, but becausee I didn't like the way a couple of my teeth stuck out. And I like that they gave me a few days' supply of the best medicine ever when they took my wisdom teeth out. And the smell of office is nice, too.
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